I really enjoyed writing a post for A Chronic Voice’s May Linkup so I decided I’d participate in A Chronic Voice’s Linkup Party June 2019! This month I’ll be writing about wondering, turning and desiring when you have a chronic voice. I feel these are very fitting, as recently I’ve been wondering what my life would be like if I wasn’t chronically ill and desiring a normal life.
All 5 of A Chronic Voice’s Linkup Party June 2019 prompts:
You can find A Chronic Voice’s post about this linkup here.
I often wonder what my life would be like if I didn’t have a chronic illness (or three) and I’m sure other spoonies feel the same way sometimes. I wonder what it would be like if I wasn’t constantly worrying that I’ll have a seizure, or what I would be eating if I could eat normal-person food. My illness makes me wonder if I’d be taking my A Levels around this time like my friends are, and if I’d be going to uni in September.
I finally feel my life is turning a corner. I’ve spent 10 days in hospital over the past few weeks and I finally have two more diagnoses to go with my Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder (HSD). I’ll write a post about them soon, but the two diagnoses I was given during my second admission were Non-Epileptic Attack Disorder (NEAD) and Functional Neurological Disorder (FND). Although I don’t want to be chronically ill, I am and these diagnoses finally put names to some of my symptoms.
I desire a normal life. I want to be healthy, to take my A Levels and go to uni. My illness strips me of this. I often feel my life is unfair. What have I done to deserve this? I desire diagnoses and cures and proper management. This is what my life has turned into – the constant desire for medical advances so that I can live a relatively normal life. I know that I’ll never be better, but I would do anything to feel normal again.