A Chronic Voice Linkup Party: June 2019

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This is a pin for you to share on Pinterest. It reads "Wondering, Turning and Desiring When You Have a Chronic Illness".

I really enjoyed writing a post for A Chronic Voice’s May Linkup so I decided I’d participate in A Chronic Voice’s Linkup Party June 2019! This month I’ll be writing about wondering, turning and desiring when you have a chronic voice. I feel these are very fitting, as recently I’ve been wondering what my life would be like if I wasn’t chronically ill and desiring a normal life.

All 5 of A Chronic Voice’s Linkup Party June 2019 prompts:

  • Repeating
  • Wondering
  • Turning
  • Getting
  • Desiring

You can find A Chronic Voice’s post about this linkup here.

Wondering

I often wonder what my life would be like if I didn’t have a chronic illness (or three) and I’m sure other spoonies feel the same way sometimes. I wonder what it would be like if I wasn’t constantly worrying that I’ll have a seizure, or what I would be eating if I could eat normal-person food. My illness makes me wonder if I’d be taking my A Levels around this time like my friends are, and if I’d be going to uni in September.

Turning

I finally feel my life is turning a corner. I’ve spent 10 days in hospital over the past few weeks and I finally have two more diagnoses to go with my Hypermobility Spectrum Disorder (HSD). I’ll write a post about them soon, but the two diagnoses I was given during my second admission were Non-Epileptic Attack Disorder (NEAD) and Functional Neurological Disorder (FND). Although I don’t want to be chronically ill, I am and these diagnoses finally put names to some of my symptoms.

Desiring

I desire a normal life. I want to be healthy, to take my A Levels and go to uni. My illness strips me of this. I often feel my life is unfair. What have I done to deserve this? I desire diagnoses and cures and proper management. This is what my life has turned into – the constant desire for medical advances so that I can live a relatively normal life. I know that I’ll never be better, but I would do anything to feel normal again.

This is a pin for you to share on Pinterest. It reads "Wondering, Turning and Desiring".

4 Replies to “A Chronic Voice Linkup Party: June 2019”

  1. It must be such a relief to finally have gotten some answers to what is going on with your body. Having been diagnosed with FND myself, I also know that it can also result in even more answers that we don’t know the answers to. Wishing you all the best for the future; you seem like such a determined person so I am sure that you will take your exams and go to university. I didn’t have the answers to what was wrong with me when I was 18 and still, along with my many symptoms I still went to university and managed to graduate. You can get there ❤️

    1. It’s both an annoyance and a relief! And thank you, you can get wherever you want to go, too ❤️

  2. Hope the diagnosis continues to be helpful 🙂

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